I remember, a little over a year ago, praying to God: “Lord, do whatEVER it takes to conform me to your image.” I was just ready to quit fooling around and get serious about my sanctification process and let me tell you–be careful what you ask for because God might make you a stay-at-home mom.
Be Careful What You Ask For
How do I know this was His response? I know this because I’ve never been more frazzled, frustrated, or disorganized in my entire life. I’ve always been one of those tired folks, dragging around, napping, and chugging coffee, but this is a whole new level. There has never been a time in my life where so much has been required of me with so little return. And this is just being a mom in general! Can I get a witness? I find myself sitting down at night after laundry, cooking, dishes, diapers, bills, cleaning, shopping…. at long last with some time to myself and I’m too tired to care about the things I used to. I find myself in a toss up between 6 hours sleep and maybe getting to read a little bit of a book I started 3 months ago. Would it be worth it? Or should I just go to bed ASAP before the crying baby ticking time bomb goes off? I’ve learned that being a mom means waking up and staggering around in a fog, angry at the world, contemplating jumping out the window until I’ve had my morning coffee. That being a mom means collapsing on the sofa two or three times a day and gasping *I can’t do it anymoooore*, shaking it off and carrying on. That being a mom means almost never having a moment where you can simply be at peace (or if you do have it, you are getting up while it’s still dark). That being a mom means being taken for granted.
I had no idea what God had in store when I dared to ask for a reckoning.
The Breaking Of One’s Will Is A Blessing In Disguise
But, you know, for all the moments I want to tear my hair out, I wouldn’t trade it. Because the breaking of one’s will is a blessing in disguise. I’ve learned:
That being a mom means getting to wake up every day to a smiling little boy whose whole world is me.
That being a mom means getting to watch my little sidekick slowly discover the world in all its wonder.
That being a mom means finally understanding God’s love for His own children–for me.
And being a mom means being slowly transformed.
If you are in the market for a change of heart, be careful what you ask for because God might make you a stay-at-home mom.